Driving with Emotional Intelligence
There are 10 basic skills that you need to possess in
order to drive with competence. Driving with
emotional intelligence involves identifying
problem areas and then taking steps to change your
thinking so you will be a better and less aggressive
driver thus less prone to violent behaviors while
behind the wheel. Consider the following driving
competencies along with a non-intelligent response
then change your own thinking toward the
emotionally intelligent response instead.
1. Focusing on self versus blaming others or
the situation
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "This traffic is impossibly
slow. What’s wrong with these jerks? They’re driving
like idiots."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m feeling very impatient
today. Everything seems to tick me off."
2. Understanding how feelings and thoughts
act together
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m angry, scared,
outraged. How can they do this to me?"
Emotionally Intelligent: "I feel angry, scared,
outraged when I think about what could have
happened."
3. Realizing that anger is something we choose
versus thinking it is provoked
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "They make me so mad
when they do that."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I make myself so mad when
they do that."
4. Being concerned about consequences
versus giving in to impulse
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I just want to give this
driver a piece of my mind. I just want him to know
how I feel."
Emotionally Intelligent: "If I respond to this
provocation I lose control over the situation. It’s not
worth it."
5. Showing respect for others and their rights
versus thinking only of oneself
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "They better stay out of
my way. I’m in no mood for putting up with them. Out
of my way folks."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I wish there was no traffic but
it’s not up to me. These people have to get to their
destination too."
6. Accepting traffic as collective team work
versus seeing it as individual competition
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "Driving is about getting
ahead. I get a jolt out of beating a red light or finding
the fastest lane. It’s me versus everybody else."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I try to keep pace with the
traffic realizing that my movements can slow others
down—like switching lanes to try to get ahead."
7. Recognizing the diversity of drivers and
their needs and styles versus blaming them for
what they choose to do
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "How can they be so
stupid? They’re talking on the phone instead of
paying attention to the road."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I need to be extra careful
around drivers using a hand held cellular phone
since they may be distracted."
8. Practicing positive role models versus
negative
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "Come on, buddy, speed
up or I’ll be on your tail. Go, go. What’s wrong with
you? There’s no one ahead."
Emotionally Intelligent: "This driver is going slower
than my desires. Now I can practice the art of
patience and respect for the next few minutes."
9. Learning to inhibit the impulse to criticize by
developing a sense of driving humor
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I can’t stand all these
idiots on the road. They slow down when they should
speed up. They gawk, they crawl, anything but drive."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m angry, I’m mad. Therefore
I’ll act calm, I’ll smile and not compete. Already I feel
better. Be my guest, enter ahead."
10. Taking driving seriously by becoming aware
of one’s mistakes and correcting them
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m an excellent driver,
assertive and competent, with a clean accident
record—just a few tickets here and there."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I monitor myself as a driver
and keep a driving log of my mistakes. I think it’s
important to include thoughts and feelings, not just
the overt acts."
To learn more about road rage, simply click on the
links below:
What Is Road Rage?
History of Road Rage
Road Rage and Aggressive Driving
Avoiding Road Rage
order to drive with competence. Driving with
emotional intelligence involves identifying
problem areas and then taking steps to change your
thinking so you will be a better and less aggressive
driver thus less prone to violent behaviors while
behind the wheel. Consider the following driving
competencies along with a non-intelligent response
then change your own thinking toward the
emotionally intelligent response instead.
1. Focusing on self versus blaming others or
the situation
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "This traffic is impossibly
slow. What’s wrong with these jerks? They’re driving
like idiots."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m feeling very impatient
today. Everything seems to tick me off."
2. Understanding how feelings and thoughts
act together
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m angry, scared,
outraged. How can they do this to me?"
Emotionally Intelligent: "I feel angry, scared,
outraged when I think about what could have
happened."
3. Realizing that anger is something we choose
versus thinking it is provoked
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "They make me so mad
when they do that."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I make myself so mad when
they do that."
4. Being concerned about consequences
versus giving in to impulse
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I just want to give this
driver a piece of my mind. I just want him to know
how I feel."
Emotionally Intelligent: "If I respond to this
provocation I lose control over the situation. It’s not
worth it."
5. Showing respect for others and their rights
versus thinking only of oneself
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "They better stay out of
my way. I’m in no mood for putting up with them. Out
of my way folks."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I wish there was no traffic but
it’s not up to me. These people have to get to their
destination too."
6. Accepting traffic as collective team work
versus seeing it as individual competition
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "Driving is about getting
ahead. I get a jolt out of beating a red light or finding
the fastest lane. It’s me versus everybody else."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I try to keep pace with the
traffic realizing that my movements can slow others
down—like switching lanes to try to get ahead."
7. Recognizing the diversity of drivers and
their needs and styles versus blaming them for
what they choose to do
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "How can they be so
stupid? They’re talking on the phone instead of
paying attention to the road."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I need to be extra careful
around drivers using a hand held cellular phone
since they may be distracted."
8. Practicing positive role models versus
negative
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "Come on, buddy, speed
up or I’ll be on your tail. Go, go. What’s wrong with
you? There’s no one ahead."
Emotionally Intelligent: "This driver is going slower
than my desires. Now I can practice the art of
patience and respect for the next few minutes."
9. Learning to inhibit the impulse to criticize by
developing a sense of driving humor
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I can’t stand all these
idiots on the road. They slow down when they should
speed up. They gawk, they crawl, anything but drive."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m angry, I’m mad. Therefore
I’ll act calm, I’ll smile and not compete. Already I feel
better. Be my guest, enter ahead."
10. Taking driving seriously by becoming aware
of one’s mistakes and correcting them
Not Emotionally Intelligent: "I’m an excellent driver,
assertive and competent, with a clean accident
record—just a few tickets here and there."
Emotionally Intelligent: "I monitor myself as a driver
and keep a driving log of my mistakes. I think it’s
important to include thoughts and feelings, not just
the overt acts."
To learn more about road rage, simply click on the
links below:
What Is Road Rage?
History of Road Rage
Road Rage and Aggressive Driving
Avoiding Road Rage
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To obtain a discount, enter X62K-ACM in the Offer Code field during registration.
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for Dr Becourtney's clients.
This online anger management class is
completely web-based and provides the
same content that Dr Becourtney teaches
in his local anger management classes.
To obtain a discount, be sure to enter
X62K-ACM in the Offer Code field during
registration.
completely web-based and provides the
same content that Dr Becourtney teaches
in his local anger management classes.
To obtain a discount, be sure to enter
X62K-ACM in the Offer Code field during
registration.
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