Parenting Tools - Myths of Sexual Abuse

Myths of Sexual Abuse
by Ron Huxley

The subject of sexual abuse is steeped in misconceptions.
Its publicity and media attention may have produced
stereotypical myths about what constitutes sexual abuse.
Six myths have been identified here:

Sexual Abuse Myth #1 - The total stranger represents the
greatest potential danger to the child. In reality, these
offenders account for less than 25% of the cases. Children
are sexually abused or assaulted four out of five times by a
person known to them. This person might be their parent,
stepparent, parent's boyfriend, sibling, other relative,
neighbor, friend of the family, classmate, babysitter,
landlord, doctor, teacher or preacher.

Sexual Abuse Myth #2 - Physical trauma is the main
concern because children are usually severely hurt.
Actually, violent attacks and forced penetration occur in
only 5% of the cases. Force is rarely used to sexually
maltreat a young child or adolescent. Unfortunately, the
psychological damage may have much worse trauma on the
child.

Sexual Abuse Myth #3 - It's more difficult for the child to
get over a sexual assault than for an adult. If the abuse
does not occur more than once and if it is handled
appropriately by adults, chances are that the child victim will
adjust to the trauma at a faster rate than the adult will. It is
true that children tend to become more withdrawn than
older victims do.

Sexual Abuse Myth #4 - Child victims come from lower
socio-economic families. Levels of family income and
education are not indicators of sexual abuse. Middle and
upper class families are more capable of concealing the
effects of their neglect and abuse. Sexual abuse happens
with any child regardless of age, race, or neighborhood.
Offenders are usually of the same race and economic level.
The offence occurs in the vicinity of the child's home or the
home of the offender. And lastly, boys are subjected to
abuse almost as frequently as girls are.

Sexual Abuse Myth #5 - Most cases of child sexual abuse
are reported. In reality, very few cases are reported. You
only hear about the most violent or sensational cases.
When the abuse involves a relative, you are less likely to
have that case reported. Reasons for not reporting will be
discussed more in the section under reporting
responsibilities.

Sexual Abuse Myth #6 - The child victim is somehow the
cause - directly or indirectly - of the sexual abuse by
seducing the offender, fantasizing the molestation or
exaggerating the injury when the genitals were merely
touched. While a child may seek attention or love through
contact, or just plain curiosity, or perhaps excitement over
sharing forbidden sexual feelings, the responsibility for the
molestation rests with the offender. While it may appear
that the child is a willing participant, he or she may be
submitting because it seems the only way to cope. If the
child is emotionally, physically and financially dependent on
the offender, the abuse may be tolerated out of fear, guilt
or love.

The definition of abuse is confused with myths, stereotypes
and misconceptions. It is also more complex and varied
than being merely a case of physical abuse or neglect. It
also refers to emotional deprivation and sexual molestation
by members close to the child. Maltreatment is not a
respecter of persons. It happens to any child regardless of
age, race or income level.

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