Testimonial from Adult Group Member WP

Testimonial from Adult Group Member WP

Dr. B,

I joined the group because my marriage of 25+
years was coming to an end. Not because of
infidelity or physical abuse, but a large part of it
was anger and not knowing how much it affected
my relationship with my wife, children and
outsiders. I have provided a comfortable home
and been a better than average provider to my
wife and children, however, not knowing how to
deal with daily stress has brought me to the
largest stressor that I have ever faced.

The group sessions have been great, hearing that
many others have the same issue....how to control
ones anger. Stress turns into conflict and finally
anger. Anger is not always bad, but learning how
to deal with it positively is part of the solution. The
real key is realizing that the only person that you
can control in any situation is you, and once
anger is shown negatively, you can't undo it.

I thought I understood that concept, but many
times withdrew myself from family functions, to
show "my control." That was wrong as the
conversations in group have helped me realize. I
did not understand that these reactions had far
more damaging consequences.

I recognize now that we all have anger and
hearing from other group members how to deal
with it in a positive manner is the key.

I now try and place myself in another’s place and
try to figure out how my actions are affecting them.

I don't need to get the last word or action in. I
realize that you can't "unring the bell." Once you
say something or do something it can't be undone.

I've realized that maybe my expectations were just
mine and now understand that sometimes they
have to be changed depending on time and
circumstance.

I would always react without thinking. The best
thing in many situations is to just realize the best
response is sometimes to let time take its course.

The key to overcoming anger is being able to
forgive. We say things, we do things, both verbally
and nonverbally and we sometimes don't realize
that the perception of another is their reality. We
can't walk in another person’s footsteps and truly
don’t understand what makes that person do or
say. Being able to forgive another is the greatest
gift we can give another person. Don't forget, but
don't let the past constantly eat at you. It destroys
everything. It becomes a greater stress in your life
and eventually becomes anger and then rage.

I feel that I have been fortunate in that my group is
small and my only "complaint" is that sometimes
an hour is not enough time to really develop and
talk about what needs to be discussed.

WP